We have a conference call with an adoption facilitator in a half hour. I signed up for information, and filled out a preliminary application right after the loss. And then last week, they called me. I figured the conference call couldn’t hurt.
My husband is currently at the doctor with my son, who is sick with fever, again! Story of our lives. (He started a new day care).
So not sure if hubby will make it for conference call or will be distracted anyway. I don’t even really have any questions for this woman as I havn’t properly researched all our options or her organization/company.
I feel like I should be more excited about the call and gathering information. But I’m not right now. I always felt such a strong pull toward adoption. And Hubby and I decided after the second pregnancy that if we were ever going to expand our family, it would be through adoption. But now the pull to bring a biologically baby into this world, and to go through a pregnancy even, is so strong for me.
I know I have to decide if the end goal is to expand our family or if I am just only searching to rewrite history. The latter will still leave me aching. I know. I also know my arms are empty. And come the end of May there will not be another baby in them, as there should be.