Add Physical Pain to the Mix

This is of course a little tongue in cheek.  But I can’t even move.  I kind of loved the cross fit. For the One hour class, I was just focused on not collapsing (hmm much like everyday) and getting my body to work and keeping up with everyone. But it felt like a positive rather than a negative.  My jaw hit the floor when I was watching the weights these women lift. Olympic lifters with banging healthy looking bodies.  I hope to get there. I’m going to sign up for this. So is my Husband. We are going to switch off days, although maybe on Saturday, my mom will watch the kids and we can go together and cheer each other on.  You have to google this crazy cross-fit to even understand what I’m talking about.

I’m excited about it. Strong is the new skinny.

I don’t know how it will fit into my possible pregnancy plans. I hear a lot of women talk about gaining weight ahead of time so that when they lose it they don’t turn skeletal.  I think I will actually be gaining weight with cross fit.  Muscle weight. I am 5’4 and 128 pounds right now.  (I can’t believe I just made that public). I am not at my ideal weight and things are not tight like they use to be when I was 120 in college, but I chalked that up to having two babies and getting older.  With this last pregnancy I started at 132 and ended at 124 from the three weeks of vomiting.  So, I’m just not sure if I should pack on fat or muscle in anticipation of losing it while pregnant.  It seems counter intuitive to pack on fat, not sure how that can be healthy, but I guess bears do it for winter.  What are your all’s thoughts?  What has worked for others in the past? (I should mention that I’m a crazy health nut, with unconvential ideas. I eat mostly paleo, mostly organic. No grains, alcohol, dairy, sugar, processed etc.- I cheat sometimes- but mostly I am good- because my homeopathic Dr thinks it will help avoid an HG pregnancy in the future- although I am not hopeful  at all, as my theory for me is that its like an allergic reactionto my DH’s swimmers )

On the helpher boards I came across a women who wrote an amazing article (not yet published) regarding body image and pregnancy and HG.  It was a really wonderful read. I am going to try and find her and see if she wants to share it here.  It talked about the perception and even envy regarding staying skinny during pregnancy. How women will enviously tell other HGers how they dont’ even look pregnant, as use that as the silver lining. It is not healthy to loose weight while pregnant. It is healthy to gain it. It is what all should be shooting for and sadly it isn’t. You only need to go to people.com this week to see the obsession with weight and pregnancy: “Amanda Kerr walks Catwalk 2 Months after Giving Birth.” I saw myself fall into the trap a little. With this last pregnancy as my weight was whittling down, I was admiring my skinny figure in the mirror. I remember thinking perhaps its the silver lining.

So while this article is mostly about my quest to find something to focus my energy on in a positive way, I think there is a take away message regarding fitness, pregnancy, weight and HG. I don’t know what it is though. That requires heavier lifting than I am trained for. Maybe one of my readers can figure it out.

Anyway for now I love cross fit and I dont’ have immediate plans to get pregnant (I’m going a 6 month plan. Did I say this already? I’m going to organize my life as if  I’m prepping to TTC and give that 6 months to do, and thereafter I will assess and try to determine what it is I really want next as far as our family.  That will be 1 year from the date I found out I was expecting our third.

 So I am going to do the cross fit. I am going to have to figure out how to pay for it, especially when I’m trying like crazy to already pay my student loans, and save for adoption/future pregnancy/house etc.

But hey I’m saving money on not going to counseling anymore and its a lot cheaper than that? 

on Another random note, Knocked UP has a great list of how much prepping for HG has cost her. I feel like I should keep a list of how much HG is costing me too. Because even though I’m not in the middle of an HG pregnancy and there aren’t too many associated medical costs, the costs of recovering from this trauma is becoming astronomical as well. ie the gym membership, counseling, retail therapy, follow-up medical appointments, accupuncture, homeopathic counseling, crazy erratic spending behavior (In my defense it was a week after the procedure and I returned almost everything and I mostly bought clothes for husband and kids)  Anyway all of this effort to make myself  feel whole again is not covered by insurance of course, but damn it should be.

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5 Responses to Add Physical Pain to the Mix

  1. dallison says:

    “So while this article is mostly about my quest to find something to focus my energy on in a positive way, I think there is a take away message regarding fitness, pregnancy, weight and HG. I don’t know what it is though. That requires heavier lifting than I am trained for. Maybe one of my readers can figure it out.”

    We are so changed after HG in our spirits and minds…the whole mind-body connection has to start from scratch. Perspective changes in all things. To come so close to dying to get our babies here, it almost seems we value life in a way that no one else does until they’ve experienced loss. Things that seem the norm to most, we view as shallow.

    If it makes you feel any better, most of us with HG have it no matter how many “baby daddy” we have. I’m thankful you didn’t have it with your Angel Face.

    If you reach a point where finances prevent you from paying for Crossfit, holler. Crossfit is glorified, intense circuit training and that is my specialty. It is what I do at home and we can definitely figure out how you can do it at home (if it comes to that). I’ve been certified in personal training for 7 years.

  2. Ashli says:

    My opinion: Take a look at Pal. That is the reality. No matter how much you prep, if you get HG, it’s going to knock you on your ever-lovin’ rear. Still being healthy is great for any reason. Check out the book The China Study. Second most profound book I’ve ever read (the Bible being the first). Will it help with HG? I dunno. Couldn’t hurt. I’m mostly macrobiotic. I do cheat with a piece of unyeasted sour dough TOAST every now and again, and more peanut butter than I should have but hey, if that’s gonna kill me–see you on the other side. Walking is about all macros do. That and a little weight bearing exercise. More about gratitude and nature than pumping it up and taking it to the next level. For me, it was less about what I did to prep my body and more about the spiritual/mental/emotional side. I knew my body was fallible. I had to rely on something much stronger.
    In that 4th preg, when HG came knocking it was like, “Um, yeah, hi. You think you remember me, but you’ve got no clue, honey. So, buckle up, shoog, cuz Mama’s bout to take you for a little ride, the likes of which you ain’t nevuh seen.” It sucked butts but I knew worse. And I had a good God Who somehow kept me clinging to Him for dear life. Even in horrible moments when I was convinced I would eventually forsake all (even after everything I’d been through). Oh, none can tell to what red hell his sightless soul may stray. (A la Wilde.) At any rate, if I had to choose an area of prep-focus I’d be playing the Rocky theme music in the background as I read the Bible or as I struggled to get out of the dark, leaf-covered pit I was in. The muscle of faith and the lessons that I learned were ultimately the things that got me through the fire when my body let me down.

    • You are right Ashli. I am trying to attack this from all ends. I don’t know if I will go through an HG pregnancy again? I don’t know if that is the plan for me. I feel sick just thinking about it, and I am so conflicted about it. I am proverbial throwing my hands up, and saying do with me what you will.
      I don’t know if I’m preparing for nothing or the battle of my life. Preping is my way of clawing out of this pit though.
      I am searching searching searching, for answers here, there anywhere. I know that if I go through it again, I will either come out alive or I won’t, but I will never terminate a pregnancy again. For sure that would kill me, but I think I can come out of HG alive… So far so “good”, I mean, I’m here. My heart pumps blood, and I breath air, anyway. Beyond that, it’s a crap shoot.
      I know I can’t do it alone…My body will fail me, my mind will fail me, the people around will probably fail me too, so I do continue to search for that which won’t fail me, it is a big part of preparing, but mostly its more about clawing my way out of this mess. Trying to peice myself back together.

  3. Diana says:

    You and I are on the same channel with diet, my friend! I actually have a hold on “The Paleo Diet” from the library right now and am looking forward to reading it. Right now there is just a huge divide between my beliefs and my practice. I believe what you said – that dairy, grains, sugar, etc. are really not healthy – but I have huge carb/sugar cravings whenever I try to abstain. I really admire you for hanging on to that one!!! 🙂

  4. Ashli says:

    “I will either come out alive or I won’t, but I will never terminate a pregnancy again.”

    This may not be “PC,” but when I hear someone say this I smile. I smile, because, IMHO, you can’t knowingly go into a situation like HG without some SERIOUS determination. It would be like walking down the aisle with the attitude of “Hey, if this marriage doesn’t work out I can always divorce.”

    IMHO, that’s not the right idea. Instead, if we’re going to knowingly take on HG we’ve got to storm in there like Rambo with a “take no prisoners” attitude. Hope you understand what I’m trying to say.

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