Did I already title a post like this? I might have. Well I just feel sad today.
Since Monday is a greiving day, Tuesday is usually a depressed/sad day. I just really miss my child so much.
A friend of mine (well she’s a former friend- we don’t keep in touch) just had a beautiful baby boy, and she posted pictures on facebook, which lots of proud mamas do. But it just tore me up inside. He is so little and so beautiful and so very perfect. And while I am happy for her… I am more sad for me- which I don’t think is the right reaction. I wish I could be just happy for her, but I’m not. In about two months, I would have had my own perfect baby too. But instead I ended her life. Yes there were reason blah blah blah
This F-ing sucks. It’s been 7 months now and I still am crying every single day! I am telling you, the agony of this makes HG look like a walk in the damn park. I am not minimizing the agony of HG, and maybe I am comparing apples to oranges, I don’t know. But i’ll tell you what, I would choose to have HG pain over this pain, any damn day of the week. But I could only know that in hindsight.