I feel like I am loosing another baby

Well he is back to no.  “its not the right time” which sadly is what he always says. So my thought is that there will never really be a “right” time.

I feel like I am loosing another baby, and that doesn’t feel fair!  I wanted this so badly, I felt it was meant to be on some level, because of how easy it was and how it fell into my lap.  I have been dreaming of this baby and praying for him. I can see myself holding him and kissing him. And I named him and I love him.  I felt he was mine and I was his. My husband doesn’t feel that way, and I don’t know how to change that, and I feel very hopeless about the whole thing.

And the tears are really flowing today, because I can’t keep everyone on hold anymore, so I have to let them know that it isn’t going to happen. If you get a chance just send prayers or positive thoughts my way.



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5 Responses to I feel like I am loosing another baby

  1. Ashli says:

    Is it possible that the way all this fell into your lap, the “perfectness” of it could actually be deception, a lie coming at a time when you are very vulnerable, one that is meant to complicate and perhaps ultimately destroy your marriage and undermine any survival progress you might be making? Could this be part of a spiritual battle?

    It is OK to be sad, even devastated. But trust your husband. You are in this together.

    Re: the grief: There is no quick fix. The only way out is through. And you CAN get through this. TOGETHER.

    You are not alone.

  2. Susan says:

    I’m so sorry – you are in my prayers.

  3. Dawn says:

    Thinking of you. My prayer for you is that your desires and those of your husband will align with God’s desire for your lives. The things He has in mind for us are always better than anything we could possibly imagine for ourselves. I especially believe this on your behalf. The day will come when your joy will overshadow your heartache.

  4. I’m thinking of you, HG sister. We have all been in very dark places. If you ever want someone to talk to in real time, let me know and I’ll give you my phone number or we can Skype. You’ve got my e-mail. 🙂

  5. I’m also thinking of you as you navigate this roller coaster. Many, many virtual hugs and prayers for you as you deal with this.

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