So, I mentioned I want to have a baby soon (ish). There are a few obstacles to this of course, one and the most major is that my husband is not really on board. The second and equally large, is I question if this is my true want or an ache I am trying to fill, the third is that I am the bread-winner and can’t be out of work (ie when is there a good time for an HG pregnancy), etc. etc. etc.
Anyway, I got a new job, I left my old job on Friday and started the new one on Tuesday (Monday was labor day). I have been blessed that usually when one job ends I find another fairly quickly. It is an area of law I am familiar with, but not in love with. My real love is criminal law, but I can’t find a way to make it pay the bills right now. I am trying to help my husband’s buisness grow so that eventually that will pay the bills, but it is slow coming. My thought was also that if my husbands business makes money, then I can take a little time off of work and be holed up in bed, pregnant.
Well I got a call from one of the jobs I interviewed with and I really liked the Woman I met with, but they had made me a very low offer and I turned it down. They called again and the woman I met with is gone, and they need someone to come in and eventually fill her role, but they want to see what I can do first. So the offer is higher than their first offer, but about 8K lower than the job I’m currently at. The upside is, there is the potential for growth, and its a lot closer to my home. I am really torn about what to do. And I think part of my reservation is the baby thing. The company I am at now, has great medical insurance. a $500 deductible! No emergency room copays, and they are established, they probably will give me the time off I need for short-term disability and I think that would be ok. The other job is a smaller office, the insurance is not as good, a 2k deductible and they would probably let me go if I get pregnant and sick and can’t work. So it makes me think I shouldn’t go there, but I don’t have immediate plans to have a baby either so, I can’t figure out why I am letting it affect my decision so greatly. The truth is, I am usually so sick and for so long, that short-term disability isn’t really enough time, and I will probably end up loosing my job anyway. I would also want to stay home with the baby for a while too and the line of work I am in, well they frown upon you taking your one week vacation, so you can imagine…
I was lucky that both times before even though I had near no money, job etc, I was able to work it out so that I stayed home with both babies until they were 9 months old, then I returned part-time to work. I dont’ think our situation this time around would allow it, but it would be nice to dream and scheme and maybe come up with a way, a bridge I’ll cross if/when I get to it.
My thought process is that one of the jobs has more potential for growth. The salary difference comes out to about $100 less a week, which isn’t a huge difference, I’m sure we can make that work. But to eventaully make that back would require me to work there at least a year, and if I want to have a baby, then I will need to put that plan on hold for another year at least. But then I can potentially make more money, and I can start a fund to save to have an HG pregnancy, or maybe an adoption or whatever, a nest egg never hurts. The potential new job is right around the corner from my kid’s school, seriously I could walk there, which I do love. It just seems counterintuitive to take a job for less money in this economy though. And even if they give me a 10k raise in three months, it will take six months before I make up the difference of what I could have made at the job I’m at now, and unless I am really planning to stay longer-term then I’m not sure if it makes sense.
One minute I am convinced I should go, the next I think I should stay where I am at, i have this total inability to make any decisions lately, which is why I have just put off making decision, and I wonder if that is party of my reservation with taking a leap into the unknown. And I think this idea of maybe having a baby, and trying to plan for an HG pregnancy influences me so much. I mean imagine if I didn’t have to think about any of this, and I could just have a normal pregnancy and even work through it…le sigh.