I have “penned” many updates in my head to this blog, but I never got so far as to actually update. Life is going on. I have a few ups and quite a few downs, unrelated to babies or pregnancy just work, school, home life stuff, etc.
I still think about my baby everyday, or at least I think I do. Some days, I wonder if I thought about her yesterday, and I can’t remember, so there actually might be some days where I don’t think about all that transpired, does that make sense?
My littlest just had his birthday, and it was around his birthday that I first found out I was pregnant, so that brings up some memories for me. And we are heading into the month of my termination. It has been two years, which boggles my mind.
I actually can’t believe some times, that it has been two years and the pain can still be so fresh, and then other times I can’t believe how much has transpired in those two years, and what a lifetime ago it all seems, and how much progress I have made. I really went from a heap of mess, to actually being able to sort of function, and smile and even enjoy life.
Of course, I look at my kids and a huge pang of sadness will overwhelm me, and I will have to catch my breath, but I can and I do…and you will too.