Busy

It was good for me to be busy. My hiatus was spent mostly tear free.  I wasn’t just busy, I was occupied.  Occupied so that my mind didn’t have time to wander. And I even experienced some joy-imagine.  Not without guilt … Continue reading →

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Guess What?

I don’t care if I make anyone uncomfortable.  I am not a go quietly into the night kind of person. If you care for me, then you should see how I am now. Broken.  You can be gentle with me, … Continue reading →

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A Post About Nothing

Today I was seduced by cinnamon rolls in the kitchen.  I am so weak sometimes.  Then I figured since I’m already weak and the huge bowl of pretzel m&ms that have been taunting me since I started this diet, were no … Continue reading →

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adoption facilitator

We have a conference call with an adoption facilitator in a half hour.  I signed up for information, and filled out a preliminary application right after the loss. And then last week, they called me.  I figured the conference call … Continue reading →

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The Heavens are Trying to Speak to Me Maybe?

I went to church on Sunday.  I am not a usual church-goer.  I was brought up Catholic.  I went to a Lutheran service. I consider/ed myself agnostic not quite atheist.  I like the traditions of the church. My two children … Continue reading →

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Honoring My Limitations

Sometimes I think I’m a superhero- envision that Christina Aguilera song playing in the background for the full effect.  I do a lot of superhero like things.  Ok, well at the very least I’m probably a rock star.  I packed my bags with my … Continue reading →

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Terrified

I want to have another baby. I desperately want to add a baby to our family.   One does not replace the other- EVER. I know this. But it will help to heal my heart.  It will help to fill the huge empty … Continue reading →

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A partition of the whole

I kind of like dichotomies- I think they are useful in debates.  I’m not sure it gets anyone to the truth, certainly oversimplifies things.  But it is my current experience.  The blog name is perfect for me. Even though I am hurting … Continue reading →

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Direction

“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” -John F. Kennedy Reflecting on that this morning, as it relates to this blog.  I have certainly put a lot of effort into writing my HG story, editing it and … Continue reading →

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